So Sad to Say Goodbye

Time for another exciting edition of The Bender, and sadly this will probably be the last time that I get to talk about little Sanjaya Malakar. Sanjaya, the boy who single-handedly saved this season of American Idol. He was like William Hung, Kelly Pickler, Kevin Covais and Justin Guarini all rolled into one (ok, maybe not Kelly Pickler.) Every week he would bring something new and exciting to the show, mostly through his hair styles, but also with his poor singing and his ability to take in Simon's attacks without losing his innocence. The aforementioned Covais was doing great last year until he decided to fight back, as if he actually thought his singing warranted his presence on the show. Anyway, I don;t know if I'll watch this week's Idol, between their constant patting of themselves on the back over the idea that they might give a little something to the less fortunate and with Sanjaya out of the picture I may need to take this week off. I actually felt really bad for Sanjaya when he got voted off, he seemed so crushed, it just reminded me that he's only seventeen. When I was seventeen I couldn;t have possibly handled the beating that he's been taking publicly, he even was the victim of a very unfunny parody on Saturday Night Live a couple weeks back. I'm all for comedy, but when it isn;t even that funny you might as well give the kid a break.

Before I get off the subject of American Idol, I want to say that I must be getting very cynical in my old age. I can;t help but view this whole Idols gives back as a giant co-opting of the people in need. I feel like the People at American Idol are going to make a ton of money for themselves while trumpeting the nice chunk of change that they're donating to young people in need both in Africa and in The US. Granted, this money wouldn't be going to these people who definitely need the help, but let us not forget the impetus for this show is not completely altruistic. At the very least they are making the American Idol brand more profitable, but more than likely they will profit off this individual act of "charity" as well. I'm tired in general of these people who have more money than they could spend in ten lifetimes (and that's taking into account inflation) but they can't stop kissing their own asses for making a large donation. By the way I wanted to congratulate Oprah for fully funding one school in Africa. I may have given away a larger portion of my income the time I gave Mr. Butch my change outside of Store 24 last month.

On a totally unrelated note, I watched the Jonestown documentary on PBS last week, and it was an incredible story. I've never been a fan of documentaries, I've always suspected that it was because I'm not very bright, but anyway, this may have been the most enthralling hour and a half of television watching I ever experienced. While many may construe that as faint praise but remember that I've watched every episode of Lost the last three years, so I take my television very seriously. So I guess this is my recommendation for the week, put that documentary on top of your Netflix queue. I might try to get the rights to this story so I can turn it into an Oscar winning flick, I know I could get Kevin Spacey to play Jim Jones in hope of winning an Oscar, this is why I should be in the movie business, there's a fortune to be made here. But I guess the studios would rather re-make Rear Window or put out crap like Vacancy.

One last note about new movies, it seems the Aqua Teen Hunger Force movie is turning out to be a huge flop. This is terrible news, not because I'm necessarily a huge fan of the show, but this definitely means it'll harder to get a full movie of The Venture Bros. Which would be a great choice for the next Cartoon Network show to make it to the theaters. I sometimes feel like ATHF has trouble filling up a full 15 minute show without boring me, so I don;t know who thought it would make a good movie, but Venture Brothers has continuing plot lines that almost fill out a movie in its current half hour format. While we're on the subject, go out and buy the second season of Venture Bros. It just come out on DVD this week. So that's my second DVD recommendation for this week, I might have a legitimite DVD addiction going on, I've spent the last week trying to figure out if I lost my copy of Ordinary People or if I just never bought one, this has to be some sort of sign.

Wanted to comment on a couple sports stories from the last week. First, Drew Bledsoe retired, he never really got his due here in the Boston area. He was a damn good quarterback for the Patriots for a nine years, and aside from Tom Brady he was the most important player in franchise history. Bledsoe isn't quite up to Hall of Fame standards, although now that Warren Moon is in there, he wouldn't be the worst QB to be in. Hopefully the Pats fans will finally appreciate him for all that he did, if not he'll just have to go home and roll around in his piles and piles of money, Drew retires having the highest career earnings of any player in NFL history.

The other sports story I wanted to comment on is the official beginning of the baseball season, the first Sox-Yankees series. The story of the series through two games, aside from the Sox winning, has to be A-Rod's incredible start. He seems to have slimmed down and added a good amount of muscle in his legs. I remember about eight years ago when another superstar re-dedicated himself through off-season conditioning, that stars name was Barry Bonds. I'm not gonna come out and accuse A-Roid of anything just yet, but it's rare to see someone his age gain a bunch of muscle without losing any bat speed. Understand that these sorts of things don;t really bother me, I'm not the type to bring up that the Sox may have won two world series in a row had it not been for Jason Giambi's steroid fueled homers in game seven of the ALCS in 2003. I just like pointing out evidence that steroids are still very prevalent in MLB, and this is just the latest piece of evidence. Many of the purists want to just point the finger at Barry Bonds ignoring all the evidence at so many other stars, btw how is that Sammy Sosa comeback going? I'm glad to see he got over the initial scare and is now back with his old friend the hypodermic needle.

Thats all I've got for now, I'm sure I'll be back soon with another load of my normal crap, til then.

-Bender Out

So It Goes

I just found out that Kurt Vonnegut has died, now I'm not what you'd call a "reader", but if I have a favorite writer, it's him. He was basically the only guy whose books I bought just because he'd written them. In High school I was never really able to grasp what my teachers were talking about in terms of a writer's personal style, but it becamo so clear to me when I read Slaughter-House Five. In the interest of full disclosure, I only started reading it because I thought that was the type of book that a smart, artistic person would read. To be sure, most people would agree I was considered neither of those back in high school (and probably still not.) His writing really did change my life, if only a tiny bit. His stories were interesting and imaginative, but the writing was brilliant and enthralling, it was more about the journey than the destination. He is certainly deserving of a small tribute before I get on to my usual gibberish. He died yesterday, so it goes.

Speaking of my usual gibberish, American Idol has been going on and I haven;t been keeping up. The last two weeks have been sub-par for me. I definitely wasn't a fan of the Tony Bennett week, although most of the contestants are best suited for such songs, that doesn't mean it's fun for me to listen to it. Rock Chick, Gina Glocksen got voted off which was a bit of a downer, I usually enjoy the contestants who think of themselves as rockers first, I love seeing them try to keep their rock cred every week while singing watered down versions of songs that can't really be captured in a minute and thirty seconds. It was sad to see her go when we could have gotten rid of Phil Stacey, who seems like a nice guy but really doesn;t bring anything to the table. As bad as last week was, this week was a slap in the face. The music didn't fit the skills of the two talented singers, and I'm really starting to fear that this Blake Lewis kid might win, everyone keeps gushing over him but he's awful. Latin music is fun, and it gave Sanjaya yet another look to go for during his performance, but it's not really made for these type of singers who want to turn every song into a ballad and specialize in the Patti LaBelle ending to songs but not much else. I watched both shows, mostly just to see what Sanjaya was gonna do, and also to see what Haley would wear (she looked sexy on both shows this week btw.) Tonight she showed an ample bosom to go along with those long legs, perhaps her legs had distracted me from all the other fine aspects of her figure, I noticed this just before she got voted off!! How could the voters betray me like that? Don't they understand that the hottest girl should be kept on right up until the point where there are only great singers to keep on instead? These rules apply to the train wreck that is Sanjay as well. I'll even let you guys keep that damn Blake Lewis on, but that means that Phil Stacey and Chris Richardson get the boot before the hot girl and the train wreck. I feel like I'm dealing with amateur hour here, who would rather watch Phil sing than Haley? It's completely ridiculous. They announced that next week is Country week. If I wasn't thrilled with the idea of seeing Sanjaya look ridiculous in a cowboy hat, I would boycott next week's show. But I swear, if Sanjaya gets the boot next, I'm not watching until they get a good genre and/or guest singer.

Ok, enough venting about Idol, I've been on a great run in terms of movie watching lately. In the last two weeks I've seen The Lookout, Blades of Glory, and Grindhouse in the theater and caught Layer Cake on video. And all of them delivered at least to expectations. Blades of Glory is not quite on the level of Anchorman or Talladega Nights, but it was pretty damn funny, Amy Poehler and Will Arnett were great as the bad guys and so was Jenna Fisher as their sister. The best of the movies though was The Lookout. It's definitely the best movie so far this year, I can;t recommend it highly enough. The plot sounds like a typical heist movie but the characters are a lot more interesting than most movies that get made these days, the plot may fit together a little too nicely at some points but it's both tense and emotional, and most movies can;t even pull off one of those things these days let alone both. Do yourself a favor, go see it. Anyway that's all I got.

-Bender Out

Great Oden's Raven

The title is a quote from Anchorman, I know that it would be more fitting to go with a title that celebrated Florida given that they won the tourney, but I like this one better. Plus the whole "It's good...To Be...A Florida Gator" thing just doesn;t come through that well in print. Anyway, for my purposes, Oden was the main story because I don;t care as much about who wins these things as I do about who could possibly help the Celtics win a few playoff series in the next decade. I'm not trying to be greedy but winning three playoff series since Larry Bird retired is just not gonna cut it. But I digress, Oden looked frickin awesome and I want him more than ever. He had at least two incredible blocks that made me salivate plus he showed decent touch on his post moves and he's already a better free throw shoote than Tim Duncan or Shaq. The other big story from an NBA fans perspective was Corey Brewer emerging as the best pro prospect on the Florida. The hyperbole got a little bit out of control when Billy Packer started claiming that Brewer was effectively guarding both Oden and Conley on seperate plays. Neither Dennis Rodman nor Scottie Pippen could've pulled off that feet, and they're the two greatest defensive small forwards ever. Brewer is a fine player, but he's the type who fills out the highlite reels moreso than dominates a game. I also couldn;t help but notice he acts kinda like a douchebag on the court, to paraphrase John Thompson's comments after the game, it's a good thing they play so well on the court because otherwise their shenanigans drive me crazy. After a timeout half way through the first half he walked away from his own bench and started clapping towards the OSU players, then later in the game he wagged his finger in Oden's face after Oden went for a pump fake. Of course all of this was far more acceptable than seeing Noah perform his tired act in the midst of falling to the bottom of the lottery in next June's draft. The only way I will ever root fo Jo Noah is if he does his hair like Sanjaya (the ponytail mohawk) on draft night. Until he realizes that he needs that hairdo, I shall not root for him. The one thing that I kept thinking during the broadcast monday night was, when did Lenny Kravitz get so old?

The main point of discussion for fans of college basketball should be , where does this Florida team rank in terms of all-time greats? Obviously they can;t be too high on the list because the dynamics of the college game have changed so much in the last twenty years, but given the fact that they one two in a row they have to be considered as better than any team this decade. They really played well together, they all knew their roles and were willing to let their teammates shine if the situation called for it, but I have trouble imagining this team being able win championships back in the early 90s. Certainly the Duke team who won back to back was better. I think that the UNLV teams of those years were a lot better as well. They were actually very similarly put together, but UNLV had Larry Johnson back when he was an explosive force and Greg Anthony was easily better than either Taurean Green or Lee Humphrey. Couls this Florida team have beaten the '93 UNC Tarheels? I think they would've had a shot but I still would take UNC if I was a betting man. All that being said, this team has officially put Florida on the map as a basketball power from this point forward. I was amazed to hear that Florida hadn't made the tournament before twenty years ago. I believe that was back in the days os the M&M boys, Vernon Maxwell and Andrew Moten, not even sure if Dwayne Schintzius was on the scene yet. but starting with Lon Kruger's run in the Early 90s and now with Billy Donovan leading them to two titles and a runner-up in 2000 they have been the most succesful south of Durham, NC.

The other subplot revolves around Billy Donovan's future with the team. I gotta believe that he'll hang around. Sure Kentucky is offering a bit more money, but there's something to be said for creating a national powerhouse that will last for a long time. Kentucky already has it's coaching legends, but Donovan could be to Florida what Coach K is to Duke. He could be the one true legend that created the program, he'll have plenty of money to live comfortably for the rest of his life and someday they'll name the arena after him. none of that can ever be his in Kentucky, and although they'll be rebuilding next year, they'll be a contender again just as easily as he could build UK into a contender.

On a final note, Billy Packer used the term "fag" on the Charlie Rose show last week, and I want him fired from announcing for CBS. I'm not a very PC person, and I think it's ridiculous that someone in his position would throw out that term in a normal conversation or interview. But really I just want him fired because I think he takes away from the broadcast, he seemingly takes the wrong side on most debates and sometimes during instant replays I honestly believe that he isn;t watching the monitor, perhaps signalling to a vendor instead. So I'm gonna try to use this incident to get Packer out fo there. Who's with me? No one? Oh well, in that case.

-Bender Out