Losing My Religion

Pearl Jam is in town this week, and by in town I mean at the crappy Tweeter Center in Mansfield. Actually I take that back, it’s now the crappy Comcast center in Mansfield, I think Tweeter is all done. Not sure if they went out of business, but Comcast is kinda a big deal. If Comcast were a person it would have many leather-bound books and its den would smell of rich mahogany. But back to the point, Pearl Jam was in town, and similar to the last time they were in town, I’m not going. Why is this newsworthy? Because, in 1993 I was prepared to start my own cult, and that cult would be based solely on the teachings of one Edward Vedder, and his cronies in Pearl Jam. I have been known to make ridiculous claims, sometimes I say that Pearl Jam saved my life, on other more reasonable days I simply say that Pearl Jam changed my life and gave me one step closer to enlightenment. So why am I missing their tour for the second straight year? The short answer is, because I’m old. At 30, going to a Pearl Jam concert is no longer what it once was. I felt the pain, as did many of my friends, when they were going concert free and fighting Ticket Master. I even had their back, and I fought through the pain of not seeing them. I ended up seeing them in concert four times, and the God’s honest truth was that it was a very disappointing set of experiences. Not because Pearl Jam didn’t rock, because they definitely did, it was because I was surrounded by a bunch of drunken assholes. No one there truly appreciated the music, they were just there to get drunk with their asshole friends and then do stupid things like moshing or crowd surfing,. Then some girl would crowd surf and many of the drunken animals would try to cop a feel. Anyway, I’m now too old for that shit. Maybe I’m just not cut out for rock concerts, but Pearl Jam for a few years was my religion, it was what I identified with, and Pearl jam is still my favorite band. I bought Riot Act and Binaural the day they came out (those are what I refer to as the slim years) I have way too many of their bootlegs for it to be deemed appropriate, and some might refer to it as an obsession, and lastly I still can’t accept that Eddie didn’t win an Oscar for his songs from Into The Wild. I just know that at 30, music just can’t possibly mean as much to me as it did when I was fifteen. I will always appreciate that time in my life, but that time is no longer.

Heavy is the Head...

The Boston Celtics have reclaimed their rightful throne on top of the Basketball world. Bob Ryan calls it the “First ever six game sweep.” And I’m fully on board with that claim. The Celtics showed themselves to be the dominant team. In only one year things went from being completely hopeless, to being total domination. KG silenced all the doubters, I’m not sure if this was something that he said during his incoherent interview with Michelle Tafoya, but it may well have been. I think he quoted Jimmy Cagney, by accident of course, and then told Michelle she looked good. I give him an out because I believe we were watching pure euphoria. So now Kevin has solidified himself as one of the true elite players of his generation, no more questions like those that haunt Charles Barkley and Patrick Ewing to this day. Shouldn’t an elite basketball player win at least one title during his career? One player has such a huge impact on success, is it really too much to expect that a star will lead to at least one title? Good questions, but not for KG to ponder anymore. The next big winner is Paul Pierce. I used to have to debate with friend over whether or not PP was among the top 20 or 25 players in the NBA, they just wouldn’t listen to reason. I always knew Pierce was top 12 if not higher, but those who weren;t watching closely didn’t like his ugly game and didn’t want to let him be called an all-star. It was just two years ago that Reggie Miller wanted to put Tayshaun Prince on the All-Star team over Pierce, a more valid argument would be whether or not Pierce was better than everyone on the Pistons, but Pierce is vindicated, he can now start talking about his place in history, not just whether or not he was an all-star one year. Ray Ray and Doc and Danny all are feeling better, not to mention Rajon and Perk. Everyone had something to prove, perhaps that’s why they won 66 games this year. I don’t think they’ll win that many next year, even if they win the title, the win total will be much lower. Another thing that won’t be happening next year: Steven A Smith won’t be comparing Danny Ainge to Isiah Thomas any time soon. Steven A used to bring up Danny anytime someone wanted Isiah to be fired. Well it turns out that Steven A was stupid and Isiah got what he deserved as well.

Of Course I would be remiss if I didn’t bring up someone else who used to trash Danny Ainge. I refer to none other than (drumroll please) The Bender. I always trashed Danny for his poor trades, but obviously I was wrong, just a year ago I was bemoaning another waste of draft picks. Danny, who always made great picks except for one since becoming GM of Boston, had traded away the C’s pick for Ray Allen, while adding a lot of other assets, and I was fuming. I declared that there was no master plan and Ainge had to go. Well I guess I was very wrong. Danny is the greatest GM EVER.

Speaking of the draft, last year it was all we had. Now it’s almost an afterthought. Well here’s my two cents on this year’s draft beforehand. The Celtics will get another steal this year, as they have with almost all of their picks in the last 5 years. I don’t know who they’ll draft, but I do predict that once they pick him, I will declare it to be a steal, abnd say that he is underrated. Even if it is Roy Hibbert, whom I have trashed in the past, his stock will rise exponentially is the C’s get their hands on him. I will say that I’d take Derrick Rose over Michael Beasley, and after that it’s a crap shoot, some days I think Brook Lopez will be a strong starter, other days I think he shouldn’t be a lotto pick. I was always down on Kevin Love, bnut now I see him as a top five pick. One thing I am confident about is that Danilo Gallinari is not a good pick. I’ve never been more down on the concept of European players than I am right now having watched Pau Gasol, Sasha Vujacic and Vlad Radmoanovic wilt in the finals. Is this type of pre-judging inappropriate? Perhaps, but I bet a lot of the GMs are on the same page as me. It’s like the backlash against High Schoolers that occurred after Kwame Brown and company were such busts in the 2001 draft. I’m going to enjoy the draft this Thursday, but it won’t be the same as it was for the last fifteen years. The draft has always been about hope for the future and the infinite possibilities that await, but when you’re on top, you don’t need to dream as much as you have to enjoy the moment. I’ll root for The Grizzlies, they’re my second favorite team, because they stink and I like their players, and no matter how many people trash him, I still like Chris Wallace. Wallace makes me think I could be an NBA GM someday.

Anyway, that’s enough for now, maybe be back on /Friday to say who blew it on draft night, and then have to retract it a year from now, til then…

-Bender Out

Lakers Vs. Celtics and the NBA Playoffs

Well game one is in the books, and already it seems the Celtics have won more games than most of the media predicted. I’ll admit there were times when I was more than a little worried tonight, such as when Paul Pierce was carried off the floor and I had visions of his career being over, or when a minute later Kendrick Perkins limped off. (Perkins had committed the unforgivable foul of being tackled from behind by Derek Fischer.) But the Celts at least got one win under their belts and hopefully it’s a sign of things to come. I don’t begrudge anyone for picking the Lakers, there are times when I watch Kobe Bryant and I just can’t envision him missing a shot. And then you throw in his nice supporting cast of former all-stars like Pau Gasol and Lamar Odom. I’m just keeping my fingers crossed, and hoping for the best, in many ways we’re just playing with house money. Just a year ago I was advising the C’s to blow it up and hire a new GM while they were at it. But since they made it this far, they might as well win it all, and there’s no way I can accept losing to a douchebag like Kobe. I know it wouldn’t be the classiest move, but I can’t help but want to shout “no means no” every time I hear people praising what a great player Kobe is. (I know; I’m so crass. But at least I’m not a rapist.) Plenty more is still to come on this one.

By the way, while everyone in the North End was preparing for a renewing of a glorified rivalry, the Red Sox were renewing a very petty rivalry back at the Fens. Over a three day period the Rays went from being the first place team in the AL East to being the same cheap shot artists and punks that they’ve been for years. For the historical perspective, the Devil Rays/Rays most notable legacies in their history are feuding with top teams and also drafting number one. In the late nineties the Rays used to try and start bean-brawls and bench clearers just about every time they met the Sox. And the Sox were all too happy to oblige. Most famously the D-Rays plunked batter after batter one night while the Sox couldn’t retaliate because Pedro was throwing a possible no-no. Anyway, fast forward to the present. Coco Crisp take offense to Jason Bartlett blocking second base with his knee on a stolen base attempt, leading to Crisp going spikes up into Akinori Iwamura the next time he’s on base. This leads to Tampa manager Joe Maddon starting a shouting match with Crisp when Crisp was in the dugout. And tonight, Coco got plunked during his first at bat and charged the mound. Now this was no ordinary bench clearing brawl where guys come out and socialize with each other, say “hi” to old teammates and posture a bit to pad their manly egos. First pitcher James Shields throws a haymaker at Crisp, which he dodges nicely, then Tampa catcher Dioner Navarro tackles Crisp and the Rays pile on Crisp taking cheap shots, most notably Johnny Gomes and Carl Crawford. This is who the Rays are, a bunch of cheap shot taking punks. Oh the gutless ways they do things in Tampa, people say I shouldn;t say bad things about Carl Crawford and I say ‘why not?’ The Sox went on to complete the sweep of the series, like professionals, and they’ll plunk Craw Daddy when he least expects it.

It’s been a huge night in sports but I just wanted to comment on a couple more things before I go. The Real World Hollywood has just taken a drastic turn for the worse. They kicked off Greg, “the chosen one.” This is an outrage. Apparently you can go on a drunken rampage where your roommates fear for their lives, and you can tell one of your roommates that his father died because he hated that roommate for being secretly gay, but god forbid you miss a stupid improve night. In general improv is very hit or miss. Even at Second City or the Groundlings, the improv can suck ass and that’s when the stars of the show are well trained clever people who go on to become great comedic actors. But I can imagine nothing less enticing than watching the real world cast perform improv. They are a bunch of vapid dolts, and not a single one of them has said anything even accidently clever on the show, and that was over four months of shooting. Whoever decided to put these people in improv classes should lose their job as a television producer. Anyway, Greg is off the show, he was a total dick, but at least he knows it, the other six are fuct and they have no clue.

One last note, apparently the biggest rumor mill item in Hollywood is that Lindsey Lohan is actually a lesbian and she’s dating a DJ named Samantha Ronson. Normally I would go off on a diatribe about how ridiculous the concept of a celebrity DJ who performs at clubs is, but right now I’d just like to say bully for them. I hope the press gets off their nuts and they can become a happy healthy couple, and then maybe Lohan can go back to making decent movies like Mean Girls. Or if not, the two of them can fade away peacefully and live a comfortable life in California as a happy married couple, as things should be.

-Bender Out