Lakers Vs. Celtics and the NBA Playoffs

Well game one is in the books, and already it seems the Celtics have won more games than most of the media predicted. I’ll admit there were times when I was more than a little worried tonight, such as when Paul Pierce was carried off the floor and I had visions of his career being over, or when a minute later Kendrick Perkins limped off. (Perkins had committed the unforgivable foul of being tackled from behind by Derek Fischer.) But the Celts at least got one win under their belts and hopefully it’s a sign of things to come. I don’t begrudge anyone for picking the Lakers, there are times when I watch Kobe Bryant and I just can’t envision him missing a shot. And then you throw in his nice supporting cast of former all-stars like Pau Gasol and Lamar Odom. I’m just keeping my fingers crossed, and hoping for the best, in many ways we’re just playing with house money. Just a year ago I was advising the C’s to blow it up and hire a new GM while they were at it. But since they made it this far, they might as well win it all, and there’s no way I can accept losing to a douchebag like Kobe. I know it wouldn’t be the classiest move, but I can’t help but want to shout “no means no” every time I hear people praising what a great player Kobe is. (I know; I’m so crass. But at least I’m not a rapist.) Plenty more is still to come on this one.

By the way, while everyone in the North End was preparing for a renewing of a glorified rivalry, the Red Sox were renewing a very petty rivalry back at the Fens. Over a three day period the Rays went from being the first place team in the AL East to being the same cheap shot artists and punks that they’ve been for years. For the historical perspective, the Devil Rays/Rays most notable legacies in their history are feuding with top teams and also drafting number one. In the late nineties the Rays used to try and start bean-brawls and bench clearers just about every time they met the Sox. And the Sox were all too happy to oblige. Most famously the D-Rays plunked batter after batter one night while the Sox couldn’t retaliate because Pedro was throwing a possible no-no. Anyway, fast forward to the present. Coco Crisp take offense to Jason Bartlett blocking second base with his knee on a stolen base attempt, leading to Crisp going spikes up into Akinori Iwamura the next time he’s on base. This leads to Tampa manager Joe Maddon starting a shouting match with Crisp when Crisp was in the dugout. And tonight, Coco got plunked during his first at bat and charged the mound. Now this was no ordinary bench clearing brawl where guys come out and socialize with each other, say “hi” to old teammates and posture a bit to pad their manly egos. First pitcher James Shields throws a haymaker at Crisp, which he dodges nicely, then Tampa catcher Dioner Navarro tackles Crisp and the Rays pile on Crisp taking cheap shots, most notably Johnny Gomes and Carl Crawford. This is who the Rays are, a bunch of cheap shot taking punks. Oh the gutless ways they do things in Tampa, people say I shouldn;t say bad things about Carl Crawford and I say ‘why not?’ The Sox went on to complete the sweep of the series, like professionals, and they’ll plunk Craw Daddy when he least expects it.

It’s been a huge night in sports but I just wanted to comment on a couple more things before I go. The Real World Hollywood has just taken a drastic turn for the worse. They kicked off Greg, “the chosen one.” This is an outrage. Apparently you can go on a drunken rampage where your roommates fear for their lives, and you can tell one of your roommates that his father died because he hated that roommate for being secretly gay, but god forbid you miss a stupid improve night. In general improv is very hit or miss. Even at Second City or the Groundlings, the improv can suck ass and that’s when the stars of the show are well trained clever people who go on to become great comedic actors. But I can imagine nothing less enticing than watching the real world cast perform improv. They are a bunch of vapid dolts, and not a single one of them has said anything even accidently clever on the show, and that was over four months of shooting. Whoever decided to put these people in improv classes should lose their job as a television producer. Anyway, Greg is off the show, he was a total dick, but at least he knows it, the other six are fuct and they have no clue.

One last note, apparently the biggest rumor mill item in Hollywood is that Lindsey Lohan is actually a lesbian and she’s dating a DJ named Samantha Ronson. Normally I would go off on a diatribe about how ridiculous the concept of a celebrity DJ who performs at clubs is, but right now I’d just like to say bully for them. I hope the press gets off their nuts and they can become a happy healthy couple, and then maybe Lohan can go back to making decent movies like Mean Girls. Or if not, the two of them can fade away peacefully and live a comfortable life in California as a happy married couple, as things should be.

-Bender Out

Is it Summertime?

“See it or skip it?” What the Eff is this crap? I’m watching Ebert and Roeper “At The Movies.” The most famous of all the movie review shows and they go away from the two thumbs up review method. It’s only one of the most famous sayings in pop culture, why would we ever want to continue using one of the most famous sayings in pop culture? They seem to be re-packaging the show, which is fine I guess, things are different than they used to be 20 plus years ago, but let’s not throw the baby out with the bathwater.

Speaking of Ebert and Roeper, they reviewed Recount, an HBO movie, and gave it “two See its” (just not catchy) and Roeper actually claimed that it was an unbiased view of the recounts. Recount is a lot of things, but unbiased is not one. I enjoyed it thoroughly but I understood that the guys who made this movie were definitely on the side of Al Gore. It is a fine movie, it was interesting to recount all the details of the re-count, and to see all the politics involved. They certainly were giving no quarter to Catherine Harris, who comes off as over-matched although very hot, and I’d like to party with her. Mostly after the movie I just thought about how the world could’ve been totally different if things had just been a little different in Florida. Who knows maybe it wouldn’t have.

On the subject of movies, I saw the new Indiana Jones movie. It was a fun time. It seems every critic wants to pan it, but I think we’ve all forgotten what the Indiana Jones movies were. They were fun adventures with a charismatic star. I’s not like we’re getting the fourth Godfather movie here. Why are people complaining that the new Indiana Jones is too unrealistic? Is it really any more unrealistic than an Arc that melts peoples’ faces off or a guy who can rip out your heart and hold it in his hand while it still beats? Just go to the movie, buy some popciorn and a soda, maybe even some Sour Patch kids and have a good time.

But enough about movies.

Can I finally write a requiem for the San Antonio Spurs? I’m tired of them, like most everyone outside of the greater San Antonio area, (which must be pretty huge.) I feel like Manu Ginobili and Tony Parker have become the two most overrated players in the NBA. They wouldn’t be nearly as highly thought of if Tim Duncan weren;t carrying their asses. Duncan does all the dirty work, the heavy lifting; then Ginobili or Parker makes a pretty drive and people think they’ve done something spectacular. I heard Ric Bucher say that Manu has had as much to do with the Spurs Championships as Duncan, it almost caused me to get into a car accident. Manu wasn;t even around for the first title and for the second one he was not a big contributor. As an aside, I definitely refer to Manu Ginobili as a European player far more often than I do Tony Parker. Sure Manu is from Argentina and Tony is from France, but Manu just acts more European. I’m hoping we’ve seen the last of these spurs in late May. Perhaps they can have a final run in a couple years where they take some team to seven, like Jimmy Connors at the US Open.

I’ve been concentrating on the Celtics-Pistons, hoping for the C’s to take it in 6 tonight and then a subsequent explosion from the Pistons (not their fans, mind you, please no riots.) I hate the Pistons, they really think of themselves as a dynasty, but they’re really lucky that even won a single title, they’re dysfunctional. ‘Sheed may very well be a sociopath, I don’t know how anyone who plays on the same team as Rip Hamilton can claim that the other team is flopping, that takes some serious balls. When Rip takes off his stupid mask he looks just like Greg from the Real World: Hollywood. Not only do they look alike, but they’re both full of shit. Rip’s flailing and flopping is an embarrassment to the NBA. Anyway, I don’t want to jinx my beloved C’s. I actually went to a few games during the infamous 15 win season and I waited patiently for Antoine Walker to blossom into a superstar, so I feel like me and the other C’s fans have earned this one.

Hopefully all will go well with The Celtics this weekend, so I can properly enjoy the return of The Venture Bros. After too much waiting and searching for info online, I found out yesterday that the best show on Adult Swim returns Sunday night.

-Bender Out

What’s Cooking?

The evil beast has finally been slain. For the last five months, evil has been disguised as a seventeen year old. He charmed so many with his innocent smile and “aww shucks” attitude. But behind all those charms was the downfall of Western civilization. He threatened to bring music down one more level, and while American Idol isn’t exactly noted for its high minded views on the art of music, I really believe that if David Archuleta had won, a small part of America’s soul would have died. OK I’m obviously way overstating AI and DA’s respective roles in America, but I’m just happy he didn’t win. And in some ways I do think that American Idol was saved by David Cook winning. It’s the first time the most talented contestant has won since Carrie Underwood in Season 3. I’ve been hoping that the voters would send Archuleta’s puppy dog style back to the Shire for many weeks, hearing the judges fawn over him when he couldn’t even really understand a lot of what he was singing, it made me sick, all the while they trashed Jason Castro and Brooke White. Anyway, Cook can now graduate to making mediocre pop-rock while his career is controlled by the leaches sucking the business dry, and Archuleta can try to compete with Miley Cyrus and The Jonas Brothers for the young peoples’ attention (and their parents’ money,) taking his rightful place as a latter day Tevin Campbell.

A couple other highlights from the show; first the George Michael medley which only lacked a great Wham tune, but did debut George’s unfortunate nose-job. Basically the one of the reasons I enjoy Idol is because when I’m singing along to songs by forgotten pop stars I don’t feel so alone. (I do still feel ridiculous, but that’s deserved.) Bryan Adams and Donna Summer were also given a little time to shine, and that’s fun. Where else but Idol? I just can’t understand why they never got to mentor the contestants, it would’ve been fun to see Bryan Adams telling the kids what’s what. I could’ve done without the final ridiculing of the lost souls from the open auditions, but I guess that’s part of the deal at this point.

That’s all I’ve got for now. I did want to put out a link. If you like Boston Sports and hot chicks, check out Barstool Sports.

-Bender Out

We're playin' baaasketbaaallll

I think most people would assume that my latest lack of posts has to do with the release of Grand Theft Auto IV. But sadly this is not true, in fact I have to shamefully admit that I don’t even own an Xbox 360 or PS3 yet. So instead of rising to the top of Liberty City’s crime syndicate I’m doing more mundane things like going to the grocery store. Speaking of which, how dare the Columbo people try and change the size of their delicious yogurts from 8oz. to 6oz, yet they kept the same price. Did you think I wouldn’t notice? I compare the Comlumbosian family to drug pushers, they got me hooked at a young age and they keep pushing up the prices and milking me for more money. I also wonder what other customers are thinking when I pick up the 48 pack of toilet paper. In this age of BJ’s and Costco you’d be a fool to buy your toilet paper in anything less than a 24 pack, similar to the way I used to buy my Bud Light in college. But it bears mentioning that I feel very awkward with a 48 pack of TP under my arm as I march up to the check out lines. I sometimes start telling total strangers that I haven’t been feeling well or that I ate a lot of Buffalo wings the night before; these lines tickle me to death but usually the other person just ignores me or is horrified. Apparently no one wants to share a laugh with me.

But I digress, I’m not here to talk about my grocery shopping in the past, I’m here to be positive about the future. And mostly I’ve been consumed with Playoff Basketball these past two weeks. Tonight the Hornets went up 2-0 on the defending champion Spurs and I think the world might finally start to realize exactly how good they are, and more specifically how great Chris Paul is, and we might want to start talking about his place in history. I have to admit that I was not a Chris Paul believer. I supported the Hawks when they took Marvin Williams ahead of him, and as recently as this year I thought that Deron Williams was still his equal, but no longer. (Ironically I did know that Chris Paul would’ve been a better pick than Andrew Bogut, just not Marvin.) I’m starting to think that Paul could go down as the second best point guard to ever play the game. I’d already put him ahead of recent players like Steve Nash and the vastly overrated Allen Iverson. This post-season Paul could be placing himself up in the Isiah Thomas stratosphere, not one of the top ten of all-time, but on the next level; and that’s very hard for a little guy to do. Anyway, I don’t want to call the series prematurely, but the Hornets look like they have this match-up all over the Spurs, Ginobili’s flops aren’t getting called, Tony Parker is being exposed as less than an all-star, Chandler is making Duncan look a bit old and David West is ready for his close up. I think we might be watching the end of the Spurs “dynasty.”

A note on The Spurs, and mostly on Tim Duncan; I don’t want anyone to think I’m crapping on Duncan. Duncan is one of only five players in the last twenty-five years who could be crowned as the greatest player alive. There was Bird, then Magic, then Jordan, followed by Shaq, and then Duncan. They were the five best players of the last twenty five years and while you can argue that Duncan was number five on that list, there’s no shame in that at all. Superstars on this level often somehow become underrated; people don’t realize how much better their teammates seem when they get on the court with a superstar. But all great things must come to an end, and it’s obvious with Shaq and Duncan isn’t far behind.

The other semi-final out west is far less interesting to me. I don’t really enjoy the Lakers, but I think they’re going to make easy work of the Utah Jazz. Kobe Bryant is a very talented player, but he’s never been the type to elevate his teammates other than the attention he draws from the defense. Gasol and Odom are talented but flawed players, I enjoy a lot of their role players like Touriaf, Walton and Fisher but they don’t make up for the fact that Kobe is a total douche bag. I’d like to watch the Jazz beat them, but I just don’t think they’re ready. Deron Williams and Carlos Boozer are hard working physical players, but they can’t make up for their overmatched teammates, including Ashton Kutcher.

I’m not really ready to talk about my Celtics’ first round series, all I can say about it is that ever since the Super Bowl I’m back to the old days of waiting to be disappointed by the local teams, instead of assuming they’ll win. All that said, I still think they could win a title. The Cavs although more talented than Atlanta are probably a better match-up. Lebron is phenomenal, and is the rightful heir to the “greatest player alive” throne, but the rest of the team looks like the guys you bring together in an effort to get the number one draft pick. I’d say Delonte West is the second best player on the Cavs, he’s hard nosed and ready to battle, but not quite up to the challenge, kind of like a latter day Scrappy Doo. As for the Detroit vs. Orlando, it’s unfortunate that the Pistons will win this one, I hate Detroit but Dwight Howard just doesn’t have enough support to make the Pistons pay for their Laissez Faire attitude. The Pistons think of themselves as being the team of the decade but in reality they are probably just an afterthought similar to the Heat from two years ago.

A couple last notes before I wrap it up, I must not have been paying attention the last few years, but I’d say the announcing is lacking. Perhaps it’s because they’re split over two networks, but I think they need to upgrade all the announcing teams and perhaps the studio hosts. If I had to listen to Dick Stockton refer to the “year and a half” that Joe Johnson spent in Boston, I might have flipped out. Johnson only spent a couple months in Boston and I doubt he really felt there was anything personal about playing against the Celtics. Reggie Miller is bad as well, he seems like the latest in a long of announcers who was a famous player so the networks made the mistake of thinking he’d be an insightful announcer. He always seems to think that flopping players were really fouled hard. You’d think it would be his expertise to expose such behavior, but perhaps he’s still abiding by some scoundrel’s code so he can’t call anyone out. The only impressive thing about Reggie is that he’s apparently able to pull double duty as a sideline reporter sometimes. I also don’t understand why TNT keeps bringing Magic Johnson in to the studio with Charles, Kenny, and Ernie. He adds nothing, perhaps he’s just there as a feel good story. I never dreamed back in ’91 when Magic announced that he had HIV that he’d still be on my TV 17 years later, and that does make me feel good, but perhaps we could just have him sit there instead of asking him questions.

That’s about all I can bear for talking about the NBA, I did want to put up a link about on of the NBA’s all-time underrated dicks, Karl Malone. Here’s the article. Apparently not only is Malone an ignorant homophobe and not only does he try to bang his teammates’ wives, but he also commits statutory rape and won’t be a part of his illegitimate child’s life. The one good thing you can say is that Malone’s bastard children are great athletes, he now has one in the NFL and a one in the WNBA.

That’s all for now, but I’ll hopefully be back soon with an update on movies, I’ve seen a lot. Until then…

-Bender Out

Ambition

I’m back with a big update. You’ll have to excuse me for my less frequent posts, I’ve been busy writing my book “Moneyball 2: how steroids and three aces created a playoff team.” It’ll be a closer look at the Oakland A’s of the early oughts, how the Moneyball theories really didn’t create a title contender it was more a result of striking gold on three pitching prospects. The revisionist history being that the Oakland A’s would’ve been hard pressed not to succeed given the fact that they were running three young Cy Young contenders into the ground and their team had the most rampant steroid use in Major League Baseball. OK, you caught me; there’s isn’t any book in the works.

A quick sidebar: how is it that new ads for Gossip Girl can say “OMFG”? Is this really allowed by sensors? Do they just not know what it means? I think this goes back to the whole “skeet skeet” thing from a few years back. It’s obscene but really it’s some sort of inside code of obscenity, so they’re skirting the issue. If it were up to me I wouldn’t allow it unless I allowed the word Fuck on prime time television as well. While we’re at it, I demand that John Cena change the name of his wrestling from the STFU to something more appropriate.

Anyway, I’m not here to talk baseball or censorship today, I’m all about my true passion, the art of film. I’ve been plowing through my Netflix queue lately. I saw No Country for Old Men again, and it was just as great as the first time I saw it. There was a huge outcry when the movie came out because the ending didn’t provide enough closure, there was too much ambiguity, but after seeing it again I actually enjoy the ending more. It was a much more satisfying ending than last year’s best picture, The Departed, where just about every character gets killed. (Sorry if you haven’t seen it perhaps I should have written “SPOILER ALERT!!!” or perhaps you should’ve seen it by now, it’s a year and a half old.) Anyway, even if you didn’t enjoy the ending I strongly recommend seeing it again, on the other hand if your problem was that you didn’t enjoy a sociopath mowing down everyone in his path; well I guess that’s a valid reason to skip it.

On the other end of the spectrum we had the Darjeeling Limited. I’ve been a big fan Wes Anderson’s films, and also a huge fan of Owen Wilson, but I feel like I’ve spent too many hours of my life watching slightly less interesting versions of his previous works. Wes is suffering from the law of diminishing returns, Rushmore was great, very funny and unique, but then came the Royal Tennenbaums which I thoroughly enjoyed but not nearly as much as Rushmore and so came The Life Aquatic an enjoyable trip and now the Darjeeling limited, each time the laughs were fewer and further between. I don’t really have any advice for Wes on how to remedy this, but I’m not paying for another identical comedy, no matter if it comes with a short film where Natalie Portman gets naked or not.

Anyway, these were pretty well known releases, especially No Country for Old Men, but I wanted to shine a light on a lesser known film, that film, Southland Tales. Southland Tales was Richard Kelly’s directorial follow up to the cult classic Donnie Darko. From all appearances I’d say that Kelly was trying to make a masterpiece but ended up with a total frickin’ mess. I don’t know how far off this film was from coming together and being a masterpiece, perhaps it’s a very thin line between garbage and masterpiece, but this one never came together. I had actually heard as much before renting Southland Tales, but I’ve always been a big fan of ambition, and frankly I miss it. Ever since the punk rock movement in the late 70s there hasn’t been nearly enough ambition, no one tries to make epic masterpieces anymore. The Led Zeppelins of the world gave way to The Ramones, mostly because no one was as talented as Led Zep, so most were better off imitating the Ramones. My point is that I’m willing to watch crap like Southland Tales in the hopes of someone making the next Star Wars or Godfather Trilogy. There were some enjoyable scene but I’d strongly advise against this one. I’ve taken the bullet for all of us on this one, and even though I support ambition, there’s no point in all of us sitting through it. Don’t cry for me, the lovely and talented Cheri Oteri was in this one, so I don’t regret my sacrifice..

That’s all I’ve got for today.

-Bender Out

And in the end...

The Final four, the culmination of March Madness, I even think I picked Kansas back in December, or whenever it was that they kicked BC’s ass so soundly. Of course when I filled out my bracket I had UNC and when I was asked who would win before tip-off I said Memphis, but I think I’ll concentrate on my December prediction. I’ll admit that I was definitely rooting for Memphis; I’ve become infatuated with Derrick Rose’s talents. The Miami Heat were widely thought to be tanking for a shot at Michael Beasley, but I think they might want to be tanking for a shot at Rose instead. I loved seeing Memphis put it to UCLA, for some reason UCLA fans and supporters had become unbearable to me. Between the “no love for Love” debate, and their fans complaining about the constant reminders of every call going their way for a couple months. Listen, that’s the price you pay for getting a series of awful calls go in your favor, you got the wins but in exchange you have to listen to the complaints. Anyway, I didn’t mind Kansas winning. After years of not winning despite having arguably the best overall talent in the last fifteen years, why not have them breakthrough and win. Bill Self like Roy Williams before him had been labeled as a guy who couldn’t win big games, as recently as three weeks ago there was talk of Self being fired without a great run, of course now he’s the subject of a bidding war between Kansas and his Alma Mater Oklahoma State.

So some final thoughts on the college basketball season. Today on ESPN’s Around the Horn they asked if this Kansas team was one of the best ever in college basketball. The question is ridiculous on several levels. First, while they did have a very good season, they certainly didn’t dominate for the entire season. But more importantly, the best players don’t stay in college anymore. Derrick Rose was the best player in this tournament, and he was a damned freshman. He isn’t one of the all-time greatest freshman either, and next year he’ll be in the NBA, with all the other truly elite players. No team of this era would win against the best teams from the 90s. To call them one of the greatest teams of all-time you have to compare them with teams like the Early 90s Dukies. I’m not even sure if this team could’ve kept the game close against the Laettner/Hurley Duke team. How about the Fab Five Michigan teams, they didn’t even win a title, but I don’t think they would’ve had too much trouble disposing of a team like Kansas. I don’t mean to come down too hard on Kansas, they were the best team this year and deserve to have their day, but we should also remember that college basketball isn’t what it used to be despite what all of its fanatical supporters would claim.

One more quick sports note for today. Bill Buckner threw out the ceremonial first pitch at the Red Sox home opener today. The fans gave him a huge standing ovation that lasted for more than two and a half minutes once he got to the mound. All the sportscasts declared that the Boston fans had finally forgiven Buckner. Enough time had past, and the Sox had won two championships, the fans could be so magnanimous as to forgive poor Bill. No longer would they ask “how dare he?” The real question is can Bill forgive the Red Sox fans. Today wasn’t about the redemption of Bill Buckner, it was about the redemption of Red Sox nation. Bill forgives them for their years of unwarranted abuse, and the applause was just an indication that the fans finally deserved his forgiveness. Bill never had to be forgiven, he gave everything he had to the game, he hobbled out there everyday and performed as a near Hall of Fame level player. He made one error in extra innings of a tie game and for some reason that’s all that anyone wants to remember. It’s all part of the strange relationship between athletes and fans. The fans feel like the players owe them something, the players somehow represent them because they play for their favorite team. It’s all very baffling, but somehow Bill Buckner and Steve Bartman and many others have been sucked up by this bizarre fixation and had their lives altered forever. Today Red Sox nation is forgiven its past discretions but doomed to repeat them someday. Today we can cheer and lets just hope we actually learned something through all of this.

And I’m Baaack!!

So much has gone on these last couple weeks outside of politics, and it’s all in The Bender’s wheelhouse. The most important thing that went down of course was the final episode of the RW/RR Challenge on MTV. The Gauntlet wrapped up and while the Rookies won with their slim compact team, it may have been a career ending moment Big Easy. Eric aka “Big Easy” couldn’t finish the grueling final mission. I don’t know exactly how hard the final mission was, but I can’t believe how poorly he performed. I watched the reunion show this week to see if there’d be an explanation of what had gone wrong for him, but there was none, so I don’t want to be overly critical, it was obvious that he wasn’t exactly a pro athlete and not in ship shape, so he probably had some fear inside that his life could’ve been in jeopardy. All that said, I just don’t think he’ll be treated the same if he comes back for future Challenges. There was one interesting thing that caught my eye from the reunion show this time around. And no, it wasn’t that Coral came out guns blazing (not referring to her boobs.) It was that a few of the contestants seemed to go out of their way to state that they were successful in real life outside of their roles as MTV celebrities. I really enjoyed the idea that a lot of these people were making their livings as MTV personalities, perhaps that’s a thing of the past but hopefully there will be a book about the lives of reality TV celebs, sooner rather than later.

In other huge reality TV news, Chekezie Ezie was voted of American Idol. For me he was truly the most likeable contestant, especially more so than that little fraud David Archuleta. Chekezie was done in by two things this week. First, that damned Kristy Lee Cook singing one of the most patriotic songs ever written. I could just imagine hundreds of thousands of votes coming in from the red states on her behalf, and those votes may or may not have been preceded by conversations that anyone who doesn’t vote for her doesn’t love America. In fact I heard there was a situation in Texas where a fight broke out because someone wasn’t voting for Kristy and the result was that the “un-American” voter was banished to Massachusetts. So that person got what they deserved. The second big factor for Chekezie getting voted off was that he kept singing songs that no one had ever heard of. I remember his singing some Luther Vandross song at some point that had also been sung by Mariah I think, but aside from that I had no idea what he was singing. He even managed to find two Beatles songs that no one had ever heard of. But no use crying over it now, Chekezie is gone and all he got was some stupid video montage with Fat Ruben Studdard singing in the background. What we need is America to smarten up and vanquish that little devil spawn David Archuleta. Perhaps my words are too strong, but I can’t stand these little child star types, especially when they keep singing preachy songs like “Another Day in Paradise” and “Imagine.” He’s too young and inexperienced to understand those songs, at least “Imagine” anyway.

Have to at least weigh in on the NCAA tourney. I watched it all, the first day sucked. Duke survived a scary game but ultimately won, and there’s nothing more disappointing than that, and when they did lose it was to West Virginia, who is coached by the very hate-able “Huggy Bear” Bob Huggins. Other quick observations from the first weekend, I was quite under-whelmed by Michael Beasley. This guy is supposed to be the top pick, but he couldn’t even look good against Wisconsin. Wisconsin is a good defensive team, but if you’re a top star you have to be able shine on the big stage. Long story short, The Miami Heat are tanking for no reason. Stephen Curry was a revelation, the hype for him began last season and I poo poo’d it because I thought he was a product of his father’s fame. But he may be the best college player around before his career is over at Davidson. He’s an amazing shooter and undersized shooting guards are perfect for the college game. His shooting is so good that he may end up in the NBA someday, despite his diminutive size. Davidson really was the show-stealers of the first weekend, not only because they’re a double digit seed making it to the sweet sixteen, but also because they knocked off the only true title contender who has been eliminated so far. Georgetown really broke a lot of hearts because expectations were so high, they had probably the best Center in college basketball in Roy Hibbert, along with a top senior point man in Jonathan Wallace. They had a comfortable second half lead but it all fell apart, worst of all for many fans, CBS was showing other games for the bulk of their collapse so the comeback really seemed to come out of nowhere. Week two is set up well despite the eliminations of Duke and Georgetown, hardly any low seeds have stayed around, and one of them is Villanova who while a low seed had high expectations all season and has seemingly put it together for now. My last impression from week 1 is that Kevin Love is a really good college player, but I just don’t see him making it in the NBA. He had two clutch turnaround jumpers from the post to help win it against A&M and complete the comeback, but he’s too slow and not tall enough to ever be an NBA star. Perhaps a good conditioning program could change all that and he’ll be an all-star someday, I’ve been wrong before, but he just doesn’t seem to want it badly enough right now.

That’s way too much for now, so I’ll end it there. I double posted so don’t forget to scroll down and read about the Clintons if you’re bored enough.

-Bender Out

All Genuflect at the Alter of The Clintons

How dare you!?! How dare anyone!?! On news broadcasts the last couple days, I‘ve seen clips of Chelsea Clinton being asked about her father’s past indiscretions. Chelsea acted incredulous that anyone would have the gall to ask something so inappropriate and offensive. After trying to illustrate how inappropriate the question was by mentioning that no one had asked her that in her 70 college tour on behalf of her mother she said, “That is none of your business.” Then the crowd applauded wildly. You showed that person who was boss, Chelse. (She and I are very tight, I just call her Chelse at this point.) Well here’s my advice for Chelsea if she doesn’t want to be asked about such things, don’t peddle yourself out in public to try and get young people to vote for mommy. Are you mad at that people keep asking about your dad getting blow jobs in the oval office? Well I know exactly who you should be mad at, it’s your pops. If you just can’t be mad at him, then perhaps you could turn your anger towards your mother, she’s the one who keeps peddling you out into public in a desperate attempt to become President. It’s not like this was some paparazzi that approached you while you were just trying to live your life. You held a nice question and answer session to get your fellow young voters out there for your mom, and one of the questioners had the nerve to bring up the 500 lb. gorilla in the room. I’d have no problem if Chelsea had just declined to answer and said that those past events had no effect on your mother’s ability to be President. But that wasn’t at all what she did, she went on the attack, chastised the questioner and all the little sheep applauded because they were afraid that the question could anger the celebrity in the room and Chelsea wouldn’t like them anymore.

This is the reason I care at all, The Clintons want it both ways. For years they peddled out Chelsea as a model of how great they were. They were great parents; the Clinton family was the pinnacle of American families and the American dream, (only the immediate family.) So they’d bring her out for a photo op on Monday then they’d chastise the media for saying anything about Chelsea by Friday. I admit, I always felt sorry for Chelsea back in the mid-90s. People made fun of her unfairly during her awkward years, and the people who made fun of her deserved to be chastised, but Bill and Hillary never quite took their share of the blame in those years. They could’ve done much more to protect her, but that wouldn’t have benefited them as much politically. And now, they’re doing it again.

The Chelsea situation is only the tip of the iceberg with the hypocrisy. Similar to the situation with Chelsea, Hillary wants it both ways with her time as first lady. Whenever someone brings up Bill in a negative light, Hill tries to say she’s her own person, which is fine, and I agree with that, Hillary should be separated from Bill and judged on her own merit. If we all agree on that perhaps Hillary will be a fine Vice Presidential candidate. But in the last month she’s tried to parlay her time as first lady into being the Democratic candidate with more experience. She put out her now famous, or infamous depending on your perspective, 3 AM ad. Who do you want answering the phone in the White House at 3 AM? Do you want the guy who’s only been a Senator for four years and before that was only in state government? Or, do you want the woman who’s been Senator for eight whole years and before that was one of two women to put out for Bill during his time in the White House? Well of course we’d rather have the woman who was senator for eight years and had the invaluable experience of being first lady. I guess it’s just lucky for the Mitt Romneys of the world that Laura Bush has no political aspirations, time as first lady is apparently the highest level of experience you can have.

I wish the Clintons would just go away at this point. They had a great run, but now they’ve gotten into dirty politics, finger pointing, and overall they’re just hurting the Democratic Party. They should let poor Chelsea live her life in peace, unless of course she decides on her own to get into politics someday, and there’d be a good chance that I’d vote for her. Quit “pimping her out.” (Oops, how dare I?!?) I meant to say “peddling her out.” God forbid I use terms from the present vernacular that used to have a totally different meaning.

Bill and Hill go back to your married bliss in New York and accept your defeat with class.

Vital Idol

My apologies to Billy on stealing his title. As is my tradition, I’ve been watching lots and lots of American Idol. I got hooked in season 2 and my love affair just grew, culminating in back to back seasons featuring Carrie Underwood and Kellie Pickler. After featuring those two southern belle sweethearts they have a lot of goodwill built up, although they really put that to the test after last season’s crapfest which featured only one mildly attractive and the best singer had me wondering if she had some mental deficiency given that she was the only person on earth who didn’t know she was by the best contestant. Only the magic that was young Sanjaya Malakar saved last season and has me coming back to watch every episode.

This season so far hasn’t really blown me away. They did a nice job of hyping the kid who lived in his car, but then they cut him and watched the waterworks fly. I felt bad for the kid, and really all the young contestants when they get voted off. Just tonight that poor young girl got voted off, and she was a mess, didn’t want to sing but they forced her, then tried to play it off as an uplifting moment. She didn’t deserve to get voted off, in fact the people at home always disappoint me with their voting. They’ve already voted off one of the hotter girls, Amy Davis, who cares if her singing was kinda crappy we need to keeps girls like her around, at least until after we’ve eliminated the annoying contestants. Right now I think the hottest girl they have left is that Danny Noriega chick.

Oh what’s that? No, you’re pulling my leg.

It has been brought to my attention that Danny Noriega is actually a guy, but still very pretty nonetheless. So, my deepest apologies go to young Danny.

Anyway, my early predictions are for Brook White, Carly Smithson, Asia’h Epperson, David Archuleta, Michael Johns and David Cook to be the final 6. I’m already tired of that Michael Johns character, but the judges seem to like him, and the fans, to me he just seems a bit smug and rather ordinary. The kid David Archuleta seems a bit overhyped as well, he reminds me of a singing version of Sam Levine from Freaks and Geeks fame. I just don’t trust people who smile that much. As for next weeks eliminations before we get to the final 12. I’m going to predict Cady Malloy is gone, even though she’s kinda hot, voters have shown a lack of respect for such things, anyway she seemed resigned to leaving tonight. Then Ramiele Sulabay will get voted off, she’s a good singer but in the past the Asian contestants have always been voted off too early, so I’m thinking she’ll continue that. For the men, Luke Menard is definitely going, he’s like a less talented James Vanderbeek out there, the bloom is definitely off his rose. And finally, David Hernandez will be voted, not because of his singing, but because I find him to be completely unlikeable.

That’s all I got for now, I’ll be back soon with some commentary about SNL’s triumphant return.

-Bender Out

Oscar Night

Well this year’s gala affair snuck up on me. And apparently it snuck up on a lot of other people, it was the least watched Oscars in years. I think it was a lot earlier this year, I always remember it being in March, so that could’ve had something to do with the fact that a lot of people didn’t to watch. Also it was a down year for movies. The two big movies that were vying for Best Picture, No Country for Old Men and There Will Be Blood, were indy movies, and while they were great, they definitely weren’t household names like The Departed was last year. Also the two Actor awards were foregone conclusion; I don’t know anyone who didn’t predict wins for Javier Bardem and Daniel Day-Lewis. Quick note, all of the acting awards went to foreign actors, which I think is a commentary on something, either positive or negative, not sure. Day-Lewis by the way is a real actor, so many of our supposed great actors essentially play the same role in every movie they just change the character's name (I'm talking about you Denzel) But it's refreshing when you look at the career of someone like Day-Lewis and find it hard to believe that the guy from Last of the Mohicans was the same guy who played Bill the Butcher. The feel good stories of the night, for me, were the two people winning for that song from Once and the former stripper Diablo Cody winning for best original screenplay for Juno. Has anyone figured out if this was her birth name, or is it her old stage name? I know this is a clichéd joke, but if you name your child Diablo aren’t you basically paving the way for her to become a stripper? Anyway, I’m happy for her as an individual and I guess it was nice for a comedy like Juno to get some nominations and even an award, but why do critics go nuts over quirky comedies like Juno when movies like Knocked Up or Superbad were so much more successful at their goal of making the audience laugh? The closest thing those movies will ever get to receiving an Oscar was the honor of Jonah hill and Seth Rogen presenting an award and doing a little shtick about which one of them was more like Halle Berry. By the way, it would’ve been totally genius for whoever won that award, (and the actually category slips my mind) to lay a big kiss on Jonah Hill a la Adrien Brody on the real Halle Berry a couple years back after she presented him for the best actor award. Anyway, that would’ve been the greatest Oscar moment ever.

Some disappointments from the show, those three songs from Enchanted sucked. Are you telling me that none of Eddie Vedder’s songs from Into the Wild were better than that crap? Also, speaking of Into the Wild, I personally wanted Hal Holbrook to win best supporting actor. Granted Javier Bardem did a great job playing a badass, but I can say unequivocally that Holbrook’s performance affected me much more. And here is my biggest gripe of the night, every year I enjoy the montage tribute to all of those in the film industry who passed away in the last year, it really is a highlight for me. I personally was hoping that they’d have Tab Thacker as part of the tribute; he played Finch in Wildcats and House in the Police Academy movies. And I do understand that you can’t include everyone, the list would be endless and someone is going to be forgotten or ignored, but not only was my guy left of, they also ignored Brad Renfro, who was a pretty famous kid, and died way before his time. They should definitely make this segment longer, more people deserve one final tribute, and perhaps they could’ve taken out one of their crappy self congratulatory montages of “Great Oscars Moments.” I don’t know, in some ways the whole thing leaves a bad taste in my mouth, it’s like a final kick to these people almost to say, “no, you weren’t good enough for a final tribute.”

All in all the Oscars were enjoyable, I really like Jon Stewart and I thought he was funny, but somehow it didn't feel like the event that it is meant to be. I don;t even mind that a bunch of danged foreigners won all the acting awards.

So That's all I got about the Oscars, I'll be back soon with some sports stuff, NBA trades, and of course I'll be giving my opinions on America's great democratic process, also known as American Idol

Giants Brought the Pain

I don’t know where to begin. I almost didn’t post on this, because of the pain, but my fans have been clamoring so here goes. It’s hard to believe The Patriots blew it, I know this is a rather New England-centric view, but that’s what I am. So how did it happen? Well it was obvious to anyone watching the game that the Giants D-line totally dominated the Pats O-line. Someone on that D-line should’ve been MVP, they beat an offensive line that was probably considered the best in football. But the big key to the game was the Pats didn’t make the proper adjustments to neutralize the Giants pass rush. The Patriots were out-coached. I can’t remember the last time I said that. It may have been all the way back in the Pete Carroll era. The reason I didn’t think this loss could happen was because I thought we had the greatest coach ever in football, I’m not even making a joke there. That is how highly I thought of Belichick, but he’s not perfect, and as a result, neither are the 2007 Patriots. The only time the Patriots had success was throwing the ball short, on three step drops, but they couldn’t commit to doing that until their final scoring drive in the fourth quarter. There were a couple decisions I disagreed with; i.e. not kicking a field on 4^th and 13 from the 31 yard-line, also not challenging the fumble recovery by Pierre Woods on the Giants 30, which Troy Aikman said they might want to challenge, but those were really minor things compared to the fact that they never made the in-game adjustments they are known for. So after all that, when the game came down to the end, and a more talented Pats team was clawing for a win to save their perfect season, The Giants players stepped up and made special plays, and the Pats didn’t capitalize on their opportunities. On the final drive Eli Manning figured out how break away from two Patriots players who had a grip on his jersey, then threw a pass that should’ve been broken up on the other end, but David Tyree made one of the greatest catches in NFL history, trapping the ball between his one hand and his helmet. It’s being talked about as the greatest play in Super Bowl history, if either player doesn’t make a very special play there, I’d probably be writing about how great the Pats were this year, but I’m not because The Giants stepped up and earned it. But that wasn’t the only play of the drive that differentiated the Giants from the Patriots. On three separate occasions Patriot defensive backs could’ve or should’ve intercepted Manning passes, but couldn’t get it done. Asante Samuel had an easy pick, thrown right to him, but he closed his hands too early and dropped the ball that would’ve ended the game. If you’re not familiar with Samuel, you’ll know him better this off-season when he becomes the highest paid cornerback in the NFL, he’s probably the Patriots best defensive playmaker, he could’ve won the game on a gimme interception and helped the Pats escape with a win despite being out-played and out-hustled but he wasn;t able to make the big play. I’m not trying to say Asante lost the game for the Pats, I’m just saying that David Tyree won the game for the Giants, and no one made a similar play for New England.

Did the Patriots choke? I think that’s unfair to the Giants to say that they won because the Patriots choked. That’s really not what I’m saying at all, as I said the Giants stepped up, but the Patriots also choked. If the Patriots had played the way they did all year, as the best coached team, with star players who made big plays, they would’ve completed their goal and been 19-0. The coaches choked, the players choked and that opened the door for the Giants to become the champions. All their hard work ended in disappointment, there will be no perfect season this year, and I doubt there will ever be one. Once again we realize exactly how special that 1972 Dolphins team was, and exactly ho impossible it’ll be to see it repeated.

So now I’ve had to spend the last couple days listening to all the Patriot haters get their licks in. So many are coming out of the woodwork to take their bows, trying hard not to be too cocky when they say “I told you so” for predicting this upset. Gregg Easterbrook who has been writing on espn.com all year as if Bill Belichick had personally come to his house and killed his dog, wrote about how the season was totally redeemed on Sunday. I guess the league still would’ve been in peril if the Pats won, and the league would’ve been going down the crapper despite 97 million fans watching the game. Michael Wilbon, who I am a fan of, was on PTI Monday afternoon talking about the Patriots loss with such satisfaction and voiced genuine anger about The Patriots attitude coming into this game. He bragged about how he had predicted this win, and said the classless Patriots had gotten their come-uppance (I’m paraphrasing here.) I’d be more willing to give these people credit for their predictions if a single one of them had said how the game would go, but no one predicted such a low scoring game. Even Plaxico Buress’ prediction which so many scoffed at was too high of a score. You really shouldn’t brag about predicting a 31-28 win for the Giants, because you had no clue how the game would go, just like the rest of us. There’s a difference between knowing why a team would win and predicting the victory as a result, but to me Wilbon’s prediction was more of a declaration that he really really wanted the Giants to win.

One thing I will agree with Wilbon about was Coach Belichick’s behavior at the end of the game. I don’t understand why Belichick left early, with a second to go in the game. There was some initial confusion, the clock actually ticked to zero and everyone rushed the field, Belichick and Coach Coughlin had a very nice handshake at midfield, but as they headed off people informed both coaches that there was one second still left and while everyone else was cleared off the field and sent back to the sidelines, Belichick just left and went to the locker room. I don’t think it was a crime against humanity the way Wilbon does, but it just makes no sense for an adult to not act like an adult and walk back to the sidelines and sit through one final play of a painful loss. It would’ve been very easy for him to run back to the sideline, watch the kneel-down, and then go sulk in the locker room, but it’s too much to ask Belichick I guess. This incident is getting blown out of proportion by many people who already hate him, and they all wait for these incidents as an excuse to pounce on him. Maybe it’s because he’s so dismissive during press conferences, maybe it’s because he doesn’t buddy up to the other coaches in the league, whatever the reason certain media members are just waiting for each misstep. So why do I say I agree with Wilbon at all? Because this is starting to become too much of a pattern with Coach Belichick, he refuses to play by any rules, the rules of common decency for example. Why not just do the human thing every now and then? It’s interesting to me that Bobby Knight retired the day after this incident, because Coach Belichick is on the same path, it’s going to keep escalating, and it’s going to end badly. This “spygate” is coming to a head now, and if there’s no evidence then he’ll be fine, but if there is a tape all the critics will pounce again, his legacy will be tarnished, and for people like me it’ll become even harder to defend him.

A quick note on spygate: Belichick’s biggest ally in all of this is Roger Goodell because there’s no telling how far this controversy could go if there’s any truth to this latest round of accusations.

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;

Thank you Rudyard, I couldn’t have said it better myself.

So now the Patriots try to start from scratch, and I’ll be there with them. They have the 7^th pick in the draft this April, and I’d predict that they use this off-season to rebuild their defense into the dominant squad we saw back in 2003 and 2004. They’ll need at least one new starting cornerback, and they need some inside linebackers. Junior Seau will most likely be gone, and I have a feeling he’ll be joined by Rosevelt Colvin, probably Asante Samuel as well. Bruschi? I think he’ll be back. Their defensive line is all set, and they’ll stick with the safeties as currently constituted with Sanders and Meriweather as the future of the position and Harrison hanging around to do his thing. I’ve already heard a rumor that Greg Ellis will be coming to town to help the linebackers, although their real need is inside. On Offense Most things will stay the same, they’ll re-sign Moss, but say goodbye to Stallworth and Gaffney (a personal favorite) and make due with Welker, Chad Jackson and Kelley Washington. The saddest goodbye will involve Troy Brown, a seventh round selection in 1993 out of Marshall, same year they drafted Vincent Brisby. Brown was actually cut by the Pats three different times, but he retires as their all-time leader in catches and also holds a record with Vinny Testaverde as being part of the oldest TD combo in NFL history.

It all begins again, Vegas has them as the favorites for Super Bowl XLIII

Andre the Terribnle

Andre Tippett, NFL Hall of Famer. It just sounds so right. He was my favorite Patriot growing up, really there weren;t many other choices. I do have a soft spot in my heart for Irving Fryar, Stanley Morgan and later Bruce Armstrong, but most of the other players came and went, Tip was the only guy who was consistently good during my formative years. He was dominant, probably the second best linebacker of his era, but he just played on crappy teams so he often seemed overlooked. I’m real happy about the Tippett situation, kinda the exact opposite of the Jim Rice situation, it shouldn’t really matter to me whether or not people agree with me about how good my favorite players were, but I like the validation. I’m just giddy, using this as an excuse to reminisce about those 80s pats teams, for some reason I enjoy thinking about the players, even if they were awful for a few stretches. In a 10 year period they had the worst record in football three times, but also made it to a Super Bowl. In some ways I’ll always look back more fondly on Raymond Claiborne, Ronnie Lippett, Don Blackmon, Johnny Rembert, and Steve Nelson than I will on the current Patriots dynasty.

Something else I really enjoyed more in my youth, or at least in my 20s was reality TV. But this year I haven’t really enjoyed the American Idol judges making fun of the “bewildered.” I’ve been trying to get into the new season of The Real World/Road Rules Challenge, but all I can do is judge the participants for being fame-hungry and pathetic. I’ll give it time, maybe some of the chicks will start to look hotter and Danny will have some ‘roid rage. Also a new Survivor starts next week, featuring some returning favorite participants and I can’t even get into it. Maybe it’s because of the writer’s strike and over-saturation of reality TV, but I’m just not feeling it right now. I’ve probably just had enough of these particular shows, and I’m not really in the MTV demographic anymore.

Some shows I am enjoying include, Dr. Drew’s Celebrity Rehab show and that new lie detector show on Fox. Both are pretty good quality, last week Dr. Drew unleashed his huge guns on the world. For an old dude he’s really jacked. The lie detector show is interesting, but it takes about five minutes per question, still worth a watch. The one other show I want to recommend is The L Word. If you get Showtime, you should check it out. I don’t really know any of the characters names yet, but when I see it’s on, I can’t turn away. It’s the only scripted TV I’m watching these days aside from some wrestling here or there, and of course Lost.

That’s all for today, I’ll be back with Post Super Bowl thoughts after the game.

-Bender Out

Hard Times in Minnesota

So this is all you can get in return for Johan Santana? A few prospects that may or may not help you come 2010? Minnesota sports have now hit an all-time low for any town. Is it possible that Kevin McHale isn’t the worst GM in Minnesota? Admittedly, I’m not an expert baseball scout, I don’t even read Baseball Prospectus or any of those publications which tell who the supposed stars of the future are, but I find it hard to believe that any of these lower level prospects from the Mets will be better than Jacoby Ellsbury or Phillip Hughes. The Twins just traded the best left-handed pitcher of this era, probably the best pitcher in baseball today, and they got back no one who is ready to step in and play right now. Obviously money was the real impetus for the deal, the Twins just can’t afford to pay Johan what he wanted, in fact there are probably less than a handful of teams who could afford to risk a 6-year $150 million contract, which could blow up in their faces given any injury or even standard decline due to aging. All that said, you have to take the best deal on the table. It seemed like both the Yankees and Red Sox breathed a sigh of relief over this trade, they just had to make sure their rival didn’t land the ace. The Twins had them both in a good spot and started a bidding war, but they overplayed their hand, and now they have some players who could help them by 2010, but also could be getting four guys who never make it.

The other trade news going around was in the NBA. The Grizz traded their overrated power forward, Pau Gasol to LA, and the Lakers think they may have just added the final piece to compete for a title this spring. The Lakers didn’t give up too much to get Gasol: two first-rounder draft picks, rookie point guard Javaris Crittenden and Pau’s younger brother Marc Gasol. On Espn.com Chris Wallace defended the deal claiming that they were getting four first round draft picks for Pau, a former all-star. The only thing that makes me dislike this deal for Memphis is that Chris Wallace made the deal. Wallace has no business being a GM, but this one might not look so bad in the long run. Memphis is in rebuilding mode and Gasol has been a malcontent for a few years, they had to trade him at some point. But this trade might expose Gasol as a flawed player, being put on center stage out in LA with more pressure and scrutiny he’ll be exposed for his softness and his inability to elevate his game in the clutch. He isn’t even a good fit in LA, he’s a good low-post scorer, but they already have the emerging Andrew Bynum and Lamar Odom is better suited as a power forward than a small forward.

OK, enough sports, Lost is back, and it’s still awesome. The new flash-forward motif is great, there’s a whole new set of mysteries to unravel. Whose funeral was Jack the only person to show up to? Why did they leave people behind on the island? How can Charlie talk to Hurley, or is Hurley just crazy? Who are the rest of the “Oceanic Six”? The only real problems with the return of Lost are, waiting a whole week between episodes, and the impending stoppage of new episodes because of the writer’s strike. Apparently there are eight episodes already shot, but after that we’re SOL. I guess I have to just enjoy it while it lasts, but this strike is starting to piss me off.

That’s all I’ve got today. Go Pats!

-Bender Out

Super Bowling

Finally I’m going to put out some thoughts on this Super Bowl which I wish were tomorrow. Obviously I’m predicting a huge Patriots victory, although in this case it’s probably only 75% homer-ism as opposed to my standard 100%. Tom Brady’s ankle will be fine, Bill Belichick will have his standard genius gameplan ready and the Giants will be off their roll because of the two week layoff.

Critics have started to question the Pats these past few weeks because they haven’t been winning by the same margin that they did early in the season and the opposition has been apparently moving the ball up and down the field at will. But they’re forgetting how the Pats won back to back Super Bowls in ’03 and ’04. They have the old bend but don’t break defense going for the last six quarters, and they were in full control of both playoff games. Just like they did in their back to back 17-2 seasons, they knew they’d win the games the whole time.

I actually feel really good for the Giants; they deserved a good run after giving it their all in week 17 against the Pats. In fact, I was openly rooting for the Giants the last three weeks. I love the fact that Tiki Barber is being proven wrong, I always thought he was an overrated player, especially because he was such a problem in the locker room. With Tiki out of the equation and Jeremy Shockey being injured, they had gotten rid of two thirds of the triumvirate of terror (the third being Michael Strahan) who caused all of there problems in the past and somehow led to them being the most overrated team in football every year. Now the team is more cohesive, Tom Coughlin is being allowed to lead them without his supposed “stars” undermining him at every turn.

In preparation for the upcoming Super Bowl, the NFL network has been airing old Super Bowls, and I couldn’t help but re-watch Super Bowl XX when it was on. I always loved that old Pats team; that team had two of the all-time great Patriots, John Hannah and Andre Tippett. Watching the game now I still got a little worked up. I firmly believe that Karma was working against the Bears after that game and it was behind the quick fall from total dominance to never winning another title. There was a sequence in the third quarter, while the Bears led 44-3 that the Bears blitzed five consecutive plays, sending at least seven on each play, and as if that weren’t enough the players were jumping off-sides, then delivering late hits to Pats QB, Steve Grogan. I’m all for playing hard while you’re on the field, but this was just pure “Douche-Baggery.” Combine that with the fact that they made sure to get William Perry a rushing TD without securing one for Walter Payton first sealed they fate as a one year wonder, albeit arguably the best team in history before this year’s Pats came along.

Well I’ve typed way too much for now, just wanted to give a link to another good clip off Funnyordie.com again, it's basically what restaurants would be like if me and my friends ran a restaraunt, you can see it here. Also the have a parody of the Tom Cruise Scientology video, and here's the real thing, (the real thing disappears a lot off youtibe.) Not sure which is funnier, a couple notes from the real KSW stands for Keep Scientology Working, LRH stands for L Ron Hubbard, and SP stands for Suppressive Personality and all of it translates to crazy. OK I’ll hopefully be back soon to comment on the Johan Santana trade and for now I’ll be counting down to the return of Lost on Thursday.

Heath Ledger, Dead at 28

Shocking, completely shocking. When someone told me about Heath Ledger being found dead, I thought for sure it was just one of those crazy rumors that spread around and everyone is so intrigued by the information that they can’t wait for the facts to come out, so they spread it further. But now that I know it’s true I am completely floored. Sadly there are certain celebrities who I could hear died and while I would be sad, I would hardly be surprised. In fact, just last week Brad Renfro passed away and I didn’t really do so much as a double take. But unlike Renfro, Ledger never really had rumors of personal troubles, or demons that he was dealing with.

“Envy is ignorance,” I remember seeing that quote back when I was 11 years old, and although this situation doesn’t exactly apply to what Emerson was saying, it certainly holds true. Ledger seemingly had everything, and now it’s all gone. It seems like so many people who have these lives we all envy are very troubled, and very often it ends badly. Whether it be Brad Renfro, who was plucked out of his hometown as a child and handed stardom, or Ledger who was fast becoming one of the most well respected young actors in Hollywood. We don’t really know who they are or what their lives are like, we see money and fame and think it’d be wonderful to be in their place.

It’s not known yet if his overdose was intentional or an accident, but either way it is completely tragic for a talented young man who had the world at his feet.

Is that Glen Rice or R. Kelly?

Glen Rice beat up some dude that was trapped in his wife's closet. No confirmation as of yet whether or not anyone "pulled out a gun" or if there was a midget involved either. I saw the story online here and couldn't help but post on it. It's almost as if the stars were aligned perfectly for me to post on this. First off, I once spent a day at work watching all the first twelve chapters of R. Kelly's "masterpiece" Trapped in The Closet and frankly it is the greatest piece of comedy I've ever seen. Second this could be part of series I write on the famous athletes named Rice, after talking about Jim Rice last post I could just go off on a tangent. Not only could I talk about Glen's indiscretion, from there I could comment on Jerry whining about Randy Moss' lack of grace after breaking the single season TD reception record. Then the next step would be Tyrese Rice and the BC Eagles suffering their most embarrassing loss of the Al Skinner era. They lost to Robert Morris this week, at least when they lost to Northeastern a few years back they had future NBA player JJ Barea. Finally I've hear rumblings that Sam Rice's bones are being exhumed as part of the follow up to the Mitchell investigation. OK I made the last one up.

Another reason I had to comment on this story was because as you can see in the above picture
Glen's wife is pretty damn hot. I know, it's a huge shock given that he was a millionaire athlete, those guys never get hot wives, either way she needed her picture up on my page.

A couple last things for today, I watched the Harold and Kumar trailer and I couldn't be looking forward to it more. If NPH is back, you will count me in!

I wanted to give a shout out to Newton's greatest rap duo E-Gadz and Big Trubz. The pride of Newton had their final show this week; hopefully just for a while, not forever.

That's all for today. Go Pats!

-Bender Out

Travesty

Jim Ed, denied again. Jim Rice the finest power hitter over a twelve year period from 1975 thru 1986, has been denied his rightful place in the Baseball Hall of Fame. Every year at this time it hurts a little more when I hear the bad news that my first pro sports hero hasn't been voted in. I have to see players who weren;t nearly as valuable as Rice such as Goose Gossage, Bruce Sutter and Ozzie Smith get voted in, while Jim has to sit on the outside and do his best to hide his well deserved acrimony. If the GMs from St. Louis or New York had called up and offered any of the aforementioned players for Rice during their careers they would've been laughed off the phone, in fact the Red Sox may have stopped taking their calls. But they were the finest in History at their little niches. They were the finest relievers or the best fielding shortstop, but Jim while not the greatest power hitter of all-time was still much more valuable than many players who are already in the Hall. Gossage, Sutter and Smith combined never won an MVP, they only have two combined top five finishes, for the most part they played at the time as Rice and Jim Ed had 6 top five finishes in the MVP voting including winning the award in 1978. If Rice was considered more valuable during his career and no GM would've dared trade him for these "Hall of Famers" wouldn't this mean that Rice was better? I think too many writers get caught up in numbers, they spent too much time in their basements theorizing about baseball and not enough time playing it. But, the Rob Neyers of the world aside, I also think that some writers sub-consciously still hold a grudge against Rice because he was a real SOB in post-game interviews. The Boston writers who saw his greatness every day realize that his attitude with the press had no effect on the field; but the writers in other markets were left with just enough of a bad taste that they choose to keep out Rice with his borderline numbers. Whatever the reason is I really hope he gets in next year, no one has ever received such a high percentage of votes (72%) and not made it in eventually. 2009 is Rice's final chance and it will break my heart if he isn't in there.

So on a much more positive note for me, I was reading about the most anticipated movies of 2008, and I couldn't help but get a little giddy. There are lots of cool sequels, (Indiana Jones, Batman) remakes, (Star Trek, Get Smart) Jud Apatow Comedies, and the first movie of the new year that I'm really dying to see Semi-Pro which combines two of my favorite things: Will Ferrell and Basketball. You oughtta check out the trailer here.

While I'm throwing in links the best online game I've been wasting my time on right now is a good one for anybody who feels like they missed on the Dungeons and Dragons era it's called Monster's Den, and it's good for at least a couple hours of wasted time.

That's all I've got for today, for all the young posers out there, keep it rizneal, 'til next time.

-Bender Out

Bring Back My Writers!

It's already starting to be a real struggle keeping myself entertained. You'd think I'd be blogging everyday given my claims of being bored by my lack television, but just because I'm bored doesn't change the fact that I'm lazy, so get off my back! If this writer's strike keeps up I might just start getting into this Presidential Election, turns out there are some sort of primaries going on up just north of here today. The young people have something to believe in the first time this millennium, if not longer. No longer do they have to choose between a dolt and a stiff, this time around they can support Barack Obama and not view him as the lesser of two evils. I can't remember the last time I saw a politician who made me excited, I don;t really have any frame of reference for this, but this must've been a bit like how the young people were feeling back in 1960, record numbers of young voters came out to vote in Iowa and hopefully it's just a sign of things to come.

Of course, the most exciting news in terms of the democratic process, American Idol starts up next week. Maybe AI combined with Lost will be enough to sustain me for a few months, let's all hope so, otherwise it's all politics all the time for this guy. I actually watched Fox for a short time tonight and caught the latest flop of a BCS Championship Game. I think there's only been one good game out of the last five Championship Games. This game was interesting until about midway through the second quarter when it became obvious that Ohio State was over-matched once again. I briefly tried to keep myself entertained by concentrating on the play of OSU Linebacker James Laurinaitis. Not only having I been following him since he signed with OSU ,(due to the fact that his dad was Road Warrior Animal of WWF fame.) But now it seems like he might be the Patriots first round pick next April. Honestly I wasn't that impressed; lucky for young James I am a terrible judge of talent, but the only impressive play I saw him make was an open field tackle in the fourth quarter while being clipped form behind. Ohio State had a few moments in this one, so it wasn't nearly as ugly as last year's debacle at the hands of Florida, but it never felt like Ohio State had a chance, congratulations to LSU for winning this game and being lucky enough to not have to play USC or any of the other contenders for the national title because this BCS farce continues. The biggest highlight of the whole broadcast for me was when they played Con Te Partiro in the post game montage.

The best part of the game being a blowout was that I got to flip over to HBO and watch the final episode of Extras for the third time. The show was great in its brief 12 episode run, but the final episode took things to a new level. It was far more dramatic and serious, but it still had some great cringe-inducing moments along with the usual lot of witty quips, all with a underlying commentary about fame, happiness and contentment. I could watch this finale another ten times and still be enthralled every moment. Just brilliant! I've been trying to kick my DVD purchasing addiction, but I may need to pick this one up when it comes out, preferably as part of the complete series so I can get the classic jokes about "gobbling cocks" and hear David Bowie inspired song about the main character's life.

The only other thing I had to comment on was the return of America's finest athletes. That's right, I've watched all three hours of the new American Gladiators. I've been mildly entertained so far, but I don;t see this lasting too long, at least not in prime time. A few things stick out for me about the new version. First off, the new female gladiators are a lot hotter than the previous version. I have as many fond memories of Zap as anyone, especially after her appearance in Skin Deep, but she doesn't hold a candle to these new girls. The second ting that stuck out from the new show is the freakish looks of Gladiator Titan. He looks like one of the cast members from 300, only he looks in real life like they did after the visual effects had been edited in. Surprisingly in the ten plus years that the show was off the air, they couldn't come up with any new events to compete in, also I think the first budget cut should come by ditching Hulk Hogan and Laila Ali, they're terrible. Aside from the Hulkster's attempt to break a record for saying "brother" the most times in a 30 second span, there's no reason to have either of them there.

Well that's all I've got for now, don;t forget to watch the Pats in prime time this Saturday. For now...

-Bender Out